When friends announce the arrival of someone else's baby on Facebook
A Baby Announcement
One of my closest friends gave birth to her second child yesterday. I knew it was imminent as we'd spoken a few days ago and she told me she was in early labour so I was very little excited for her. Fast-forward to yesterday and I received a text message from her confirming the little boy had been born, along with his name and weight. I sent my good wishes back via text and since then have been awaiting sight of some photo's once she was ready to share.My friend can be quite a visible presence on Facebook so I've been regularly checking her account for an announcement and/or photographs, so I was shocked to see another of her Facebook friends had announced the news on her page including the weight of the baby (although at this time the name is not yet on there).
My opinion is that it's wrong and that the only people who should be announcing the news should be the parents themselves. After all they've waited 9 months for this moment and it is for them to share when they are ready - it is a special moment and should not be taken away from them and it is their news to share too
It's not just that either - when you've had a baby you normally want your closest family and friends to know first - so if one of your friends puts it on Facebook before you've had a chance to tell all your family it is likely that someone will get upset hearing it third hand rather than from you.
I also think that you have to be very careful about posting things on Facebook too early, in my friends case her first child was born very early (2 months premature) and was in the NICU so I can understand why she may not want to share on Facebook after the problems she had with the first birth.
Our Announcement
I had read of several stories on baby forums that I was a member of during pregnancy about family members and friends announcing the birth of someone else's child and I was determined that this wouldn't happen to us. When the time came and I went into labour, my parents, sister and my mother in law were the only ones to know other than us and they all knew not to mention it outside the close family. When the following day I was told I'd needed a C Section, my partner rang my mum and his to let them know what was happening - (my mum said she was starting to get worried when she hadn't heard anything). Finally after delivery and I was on the ward, I rang my mum and told her and told her I was happy for her to tell my immediate family but not to put anything on Facebook as we wanted to do that ourselves. (read my full birth story by clicking here)
Once the news had been passed around the close family, my partner then announced it on Facebook at around quarter past four in the afternoon (CK was delivered at 13.30) - fortunately no one had announced it on our behalf so we were able to proudly share it ourselves and I hope in future that will set a precedent for next time.
Final Thought
I find it quite sad in this day and age that this amazing moment is taken from so many people and that everything does have to be so public. A few forums I have looked at also featured posts like the ones below that people have posted in advance to try and ensure that they are not beaten in making that announcement. I appreciate people want to pass on their congratulations and good wishes but is it really that difficult to wait a little bit longer. I haven't spoken to my friend since yesterday as I want to give her some time just her and her little family and I don't know if she is aware of the news being shared yet but I really hope that she is not too upset by it. If she is upset at least she has her beautiful baby boy to comfort her and give her joy.
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| Stork Image courtesy of http://cliparts.co/clipart/3036260 |
The above image is my own interpretation of many others that I've encountered online - please feel free to save or pin ready for when you might need it.
What are your thoughts on this? Has anyone ever made the announcement for you and how did you feel? Let me know in the comments below.
29 comments
I'm always amazed that this happens! But it did happen to a friend of mine - I saw the congratulations message from another friend on her wall and thought how sad that sharing it herself had been taken away. I understand that people are excited, but surely it's logical to wait until the person has announced it themselves? I guess we were very cautious about this, and never mentioned to anyone, even close family, about the labour starting - we just rang people after the birth. #marvmondays
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by- I couldn't agree with you more, and I think it's wrong that new parents even have to think about this. It's an exciting and worrying time anyway being a new parent without having to worry about your news being released before you are ready. #marvmondays
DeleteI will go nuts if anyone announces my baby's birth before me! I think it is so rude and how someone else thinks they can announce it before the parents really baffle me!
ReplyDelete#MarvMondays
It is rude isn't it? It is the privilege of the parents to announce it and no one should take that away from them. Thanks for the comment. #Marvmondays
DeleteNo no no no no! This is one big no no! I can't believe anyone would announce someone else's news - I would be LIVID! #marvmondays
ReplyDeleteI'm the same - I would be incredibly angry if this ever happened to me. Thanks for stopping by #marvmondays
DeleteI can only imagine how upsetting it would be to lose the opportunity to announce the arrival yourself. I am sometimes glad all of mine were born before the social media age took off.
ReplyDeleteI think that's the downside of social media - it's just too easy to post and too easy to see as well. Thanks for reading.
DeleteIt's just so wrong isn't it - it's not their news to share, how very rude! As you can see I've strong feelings on this. Like you say it's a special time and each one of us is different and everyone should be allowed to do what's right for them #marvmondays
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. After all if it's not your news then why would you share it in the first place. #marvmondays
DeleteI could not agree more! Something similar happened to me. A member of my partner puts my baby's pic on her FB. My boyfriend sent it to his family to announce the birth. I was quite upset with it, especially when she wrote 'the new babe in the family'. I was like 'HE is MY BABE!' back off. plus what if I didn't want people online to see my baby? ... #SharingtheBlogLove
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean - you never really know who sees what you post on Facebook and your friends friends can usually see your comments. That's why I don't post too many photo's of my son on Facebook. #sharingthebloglove
DeleteI would the if someone shared my birth before me. Once I have announced it then they can costar they like #sharethebloglove
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. Once I've shared news on facebook I have no problem with others sharing it then but other people shouldn't be announcing it in the first place. #sharingthebloglove
DeleteI don't understand what goes through people's mind to think that this ok to do. I would have been devastated if it happened to me, as we didn't announce that we were pregnant on Facebook and I wouldn't want the arrival of my baby to be either by someone else. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove Laura x
ReplyDeleteI think some people just don't think and that's the problem so its not going to change. It just means that you have to be so careful as to who you tell. Thanks for the comment #sharingthebloglove
DeleteI'm amazed at how many people do have others announce it first. Like you, I find it rude. I'd have gone ballistic if anyone had done that to us. Thankfully, none of our friends and family would have thought it a reasonable thing to do.
ReplyDeleteI've been lucky that no one tried to do it for us. It's also lucky for them that they didn't lol. Thanks for the comment.
DeleteStopping by again to say thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove! (And to say I'm still just as horrified by this!)
ReplyDeleteThanks again for popping in #sharingtheblog
DeleteI actually read a similar post earlier this week and was shocked that this happens and voiced as much which led to a few others on twitter to respond saying that this had actually happened to them! I think its really sad that others dont have the courtesy to wait for the parents to actually announce the birth themselves in a way that theyd like to, I'd hate it if this happened to us! Great post, thanks for sharing it on #MarvMondays. Emily
ReplyDeleteMust be a popular topic at the moment then and also quite a sensitive issue for some people. It is sad though - It's common courtesy to wait for the parents to announce it and when they lose that opportunity there will be disappointment. #marvmondays
DeleteNoooooooooooo this is the worst, although it happened to me. When I went on to announce our news, there were already two wishes of congrats from friends. Now everyone knew I was going in because it was an elective section but that's not the point! I am going to make sure this time that I specifically ask people not to share the news! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
ReplyDeleteI think people are just so excited at the news and so eager to congratulate that they don't think to wait until you are ready. Best wishes for your pregnancy - hope you get the birth (and announcement) you want. #TwinklyTuesday
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree with you more on this! It enrages me when I see this happen and honestly have no idea what people are thinking :( #sharingthebloglove
ReplyDeleteHi Laura - I think the issue is people not thinking and they don't realise the effect it will have on the parents, who are missing out on the opportunity to share their good news in their own way. #sharingthebloglove
DeleteI had to be really strict with my OH when our son was born not to get over excited and announce anything on fb before we had contacted our family and closest friends as iu didn't want other ransoms to find out before them! I hope your friend isn't too upset by this
ReplyDelete#sharingthebloglove
Hi Lucy - I was the same with my OH and gave him strict instructions (and then he forgot to announce the name!) My friend is ok - just a shame she was put in this position in the first place. #sharingthebloglove
DeleteMost of the time I don’t make comments on websites, but I'd like to say that this article really forced me to do so. Really nice post! piknu
ReplyDelete