Last week, I had a routine hospital appointment on Thursday morning. A few days before I checked with Cotswold Dad that he would be home to look after Cotswold Kid and he confirmed that he would be as he was on a night shift on wednesday night so would be home and would be ok despite lack of sleep to watch him for the 2 hours or so that I would be gone.

"Are you sure? I asked him. "I could ask your mum to watch him"

"No its fine" he told me.

Thursday morning

I woke up, nudged CD awake and told him I was getting up, then got dressed, got CK up, dressed him, gave him a drink and set him up in front of Postman Pat episodes and yelled to CD "I'm off" to which I heard a loud groan.

I'd also let the dog into the bedroom which is always a sure fire way of waking CD up and if for any reason he did fall asleep then CK could easily get into the bedroom too and would quickly wake him. I also shut the backdoor and kitchen door so CK couldn't get into any mischief whilst his Daddy was getting up.

So off I went, thinking that CD was getting up and went ahead to my appointment happy that all should be well.

After the appointment

I got home 2.5 hours later and CD was up and on the computer in the living room.

"What time did you leave?" He asked me

"10.10" I replied, "Why do you ask?"

Apparently CD had fallen back to sleep and didn't wake up until 12 so CK had had full run of the house unsupervised for 2 hours! Apparently he was still watching Postman Pat too, and the only sign of any mischief was that we found a toilet roll fully unrolled in the bathtub.

I shudder at what could have happened to him, and I really wish that I'd made sure CD was properly up or that I'd made some proper arrangements. I certainly shan't leave him with sleepy daddy again.

We can laugh about it now, but we have a german shepherd dog and whilst she is very nice and overprotective of him and we've had her longer, you never really know with dogs and I would never leave him alone with her. He can also get through our stair gate so if he'd had an accident on the stairs...  it doesn't bear thinking about.

I've certainly learned a few lessons.

Hi. *speaks nervously*

I'm Gemma, and I'm a bad parent.

"Hi Gemma" *spoken by a group of supportive parents*

I've failed in parenting because....

I am NOT a mind reader.

I don't know what he wants.

He can't tell me...yet. his vocabulary is currently limited to dog, miaow, yesssss, cheese, mama and dada so unless he wants a dog or cheese he can't tell me.

He points at things - I think he wants a drink (or is that just me), a toy, a brush, a book, but every time I offer him what I think he wants he shakes his head at me as if to say 'honestly mummy'

Sometimes he doesn't point or gesture at things he just looks at me as if I should just know what he wants.

And then when he doesn't get what he wants he pouts, his bottom lip trembles and I have less than 5 seconds to avoid a nuclear meltdown before we go into full tantrum mode with screaming, crying, tugging and the bit I hate the most the arching of his back and going stiff as a board.

I rarely get there in time and then once he starts there is no turning back - he started this and he is going all the way. So I do what I can - hold him, console him, sing to him, play with him - anything that works and if I'm very lucky he'll stop.

But I still haven't worked out what he wants.


Anyone got a crystal ball?