Now that the J is up on his feet and running riot everywhere, it only seemed right that he should have his feet measured and should have his first 'proper' pair of shoes.

He's been in shoes for a while now. Firstly in cheapy shoes, then in some slightly nicer and more expensive shoes but after some prodding by his 2 grandmothers who suspected his shoes were two small for him (I had estimated his shoe size and tried a few pairs until I found a size that appeared to fit) I found myself in Clarks on a rainy Thursday afternoon in Stratford Upon Avon, preparing to have my son's feet measured.

I hated shopping for his shoes and I'm dreading next time - read on to find out why

5 reasons why I hate buying toddler shoes

1. They are expensive - more than I pay for my own shoes. Every pair cost approximately £30 - even sandals. I don't like paying £30 for my own shoes let alone shoes for a little boy with tiny feet.

2. Children grow out of them so quickly and in no time at all. J is shooting up, I don't expect him to be in the shoes for long despite the 'growing' room in them

3. J is a pain having his feet measured and doesn't want to stay still - he wanted to run riot across the store. Not sit still quietly or hold his feet still whilst he was measured

4. The range of available shoes is so limited, either smart shoes, sandals or trainers and the colour options were also limited - I didn't feel very inspired by them and if I have to choose another pair soon I'll probably end up with the same pair again

5. Shoe sizing is soooo confusing. J is apparently size 6H but they didn't have any H's so he had a 6G which apparently fits him fine. -That makes no sense, surely if 6G fits that what size he should be in - and what's with the multiple widths? Mothercare don't have multiple widths and nor do Tesco's (I bought his sandals there for a £10) does that mean I now have to buy only 6G shoes from Clarks?

What have your experiences been like for buying shoes? Can you offer me any advice? Please add your comments below.

Now that the hot weather has really and truly established itself (its currently 24 degrees celsius and the hottest day of the year) I decided to invest in some garden toys for J to play with as it is his first summer where he has been able to move under his own steam and go out and play in the garden.

Our small yard consists of patio slabs and gravel so a slide, swing and paddling pool are not really appropriate which is where I got the idea of getting him a sand and/or water table.

I looked at a few online retailers websites and was surprised to see how expensive these things actually were. They typically start at around £15 and on average are about £40-£50. I think that is a little excessive for something he can only use in the summer for a few years, don't you?

I took a look at the £15 tables but they all seemed quite small and if J were to have friends over or a future sibling there didn't look to be a lot of room to play so I very nearly gave up on the idea altogether when I had a brain wave - I would make my own. Here they are:

What you need:

2 plastic boxes - you may have some of these lying around unused (I had one spare) otherwise you can buy them fairly cheaply if you shop around. The water box was an old Ikea box which we weren't using and the sand box was a £5 in Tesco. Both boxes are the 'under the bed' style boxes.

Play-sand - mine was purchased from Sainsbury's for £3 but all the supermarkets seem to be selling sand at the moment. Alternatively if you live near a beach you may be able to obtain some for free.

Toys - I bought a £2 water wheel and a £1 bag of dinosaur sand moulds from Tesco, everything else was stuff we already owned including bath toys (the boats, net with creatures and watering can) and the bucket and spade purchased on last years holiday. Take a look what you have around your home and chances are you will have something you can re-purpose too!

Total cost: 

1 x plastic box £5

1 x bag of sand £3

1 x water wheel £2

1 x sand moulds £1

= £11

Toddler Verdict

J absolutely loved them - here he is enjoying both!

Cleaning up

If you buy boxes/ have boxes with lids clearing up is easy. The water box just needs emptying and a quick rinse. As for the sandbox. You can just pop the lid on ready to store and then reuse next time.

All across the UK today thousands of parents of six and seven year old have been taking their children out of school as a form of protest against the Y2 SATS. I have to say I completely agree with them and if J was old enough I would be taking him out of school too. 

Parents and Kids protesting against SATS (Royal Mail)

The story is being covered in all the main newspapers today – such as this article in the daily mail, but the story has been overly sensationalised with the only argument given for protesting against the SATS being the stress they have on the children. I don't think its that simple and here are my 10 reasons why I am supporting the parents who have taken their children out of school.

1. Physical stress - the above article and others that are circulating today state that the SATS are causing children stress with reports of children not eating, not sleeping and worrying too much about the upcoming exams. Whilst I suspect these reports are in the minority and are possibly an overexaggeration in some cases, these things usually have some basis in fact and if children are not eating or sleeping this is going to affect their performance in the exams and make the expeerience even more negative
2. Peer pressure - With children of this age it's all show and tell and even at the tender age of 6 or 7 it is natural that they will be comparing their results with their peers. Some might suggest this encourages competition, but it is more likely to cause unfair comparisons with children being disappointed that their results are not as good as their friends and in the extreme leading them to believe that they aren't good at a subject causing an unhealthy relationship with a subject in the long term and affecting their future learning in that subject.
3. Parent Pressure – I've seen this mentioned in some of the comments sections on some of the articles online. With the stress experienced by some children being related to pressure put on them by their parents. I hope I never fall into this category and as long as J does his best that's all he can do and I'd be happy with that. Children pick up on parent behaviour however subtle and it's natural that parents want their children to do well . Some parents build up their hopes for their child and then of course if the child doesn't do as well as expected then the parent then has to hide their disappointment and children being children see straight through the put on smiles. You also get the scenario of the child being rewarded by the parent if the do well in their SATS but what if they don't or what if another child doesn't get a reward and sees their friend get one. This could cause some jealousy .
4. SATS are NOT a good indicator of measuring individual performance – its a couple of exams, usually taken over a week or so and only measures skills in English Language and Maths. Surely the teachers are the best judges of children's progress. They monitor and observe the child over the course of a year watching them develop (as I'm always being told by my health visitor 'Children all develop at different rates) maybe if more money was given to help with the teaching and there was less focus on exams then children's overall progress would be better with extra help going where it was needed.
5. SATS don’t show who knows what, it just shows who is good at exams. The results are not truly representative of a child's ability just what they remember on the day and we all know every day is different. The day they sit that test they may have been feeling ill, had bad news or have other things on their mind which affect their performance on the day.
6. Each child is different – the tests assess Maths and English language skills, but some children shine in the more creative pursuits, some in sports and others are better at more vocational subjects – we don’t want carbon copies of the same children finishing primary school we want individuals with different talents and strengths and teachers who motivate them.
7. SATS Create government statistics – My child is not a statistic he is an individual. The problem with statistics is that they are used and abused to make political points and for the campaigns and policy makers so that they have numbers they can quote. The numbers are quantitative and qualitative – and at the end of the day the numbers don’t tell us much. When I was at university studying sociology I remember hearing a quote that has stayed with me 'There are lies, damned lies and then there are statistics', the manipulation of these figures by politicians is disgusting and that is why I want my child to not be included in them,
8. Children are children for far too short a time and have plenty of exams in later life – why start so soon. 'Let kids be kids' is one of the main slogan's I've seen in the press today and I totally agree. Children end up growing up so fast anyway and have to deal with so much darkness in the world, we should let them be children for as long as possible.
9. Children are missing out - School should be fun, children should learn through play at this age, they should get a full curriculum of all the subject and not just be trained on the SATS. It concerns me as to what children are missing out on, the extra help they could be getting where they really needed it, learning new skills and having new experiences instead of all that time be sacrificed to prepare for SATS
10. They are too young - These children are 6 or 7 depending on the timing of their birthdays. Many have only started school aged 4 or 5 so they have only been in school 2.5 years and we are already assessing them - it seems so wrong.

England is the only country in the UK which has SATS for children in this age group, Wales scrapped them and Scotland and Northern Ireland have never had them so why is my child being prejudiced against just because they live in the UK.

Let kids be kids (Royal Mail)

They are CHILDREN

Let them learn, Let them play, Let them be!!!

What do you think? - add your comments below.

It's been ages since we went on a day out as a family, so when some friends of ours with children J's age contacted us about going to 'The Valley' (Formerly Evesham Country Park) we were very keen to join them.

This was our first visit to 'The Valley' and I wasn't sure what to expect or how child friendly the place would be. What follows is a full report and review on our day out.

We met up with the others in 'The Valley's' car park at 10.30 with 6 adults, one 2 year old, one almost 18 month old toddler, and one 9 month old baby. One particularly good thing about the valley is that you don't have to pay to park and there is also no admission fee so that was great. Initially, we walked through the main parade of shops. They have quite a few options including Fat Face, Mountain Warehouse, and The Works so there is something for everyone and they also have a farmshop and a garden centre as well.

We then headed up towards the railway.

Evesham vale light railway takes you on a loop of the park to the children's adventure play area and picnic area and then back again to the station. I thought the pricing was very reasonable at around £2.50 per adult and frequent services every 30 minutes. Unfortunately there is insufficient room on the train to take buggies but as the 9 month old was in a rucksack carrier, and the 18 month old could do short distances on foot, we left our pushchair in the parking section on the platform before boarding and then collected this on our return. The journey up to the play area and picnic area probably took around 10 minutes if that and also included a ride through a short play area and the children and adults all seemed to enjoy it.

At the other end, we walked up a small slope and 3 steps to the adventure playground.

As you can see from the picture this was in the style of a wooden castle with a walk way around the top, a slide, fireman's pole and numerous ladders. J's options for play were fairly limited as he was unable to climb the ladder or ride down the pole but he enjoyed crawling around the walk way at the top and going down the slide backwards.

The slide did seem a bit steep and fast but we had no injuries so it was probably just me. It's a pity they didn't have swings or the individual springy rocker things you get in some play areas as that would have been more appropriate. The 9 month old only got to go on the slide with his mum and sit in the bottom of the turrets, so I did feel a bit sorry for him. I think the play area here is really for older children and our little ones would probably have a bit more fun with it when they are older.

We took the next train back and then headed for the cafe in the garden centre. My partner and I didn't eat any thing and ordered some drinks and we thought the prices were relatively reasonable - £5 for 3 drinks. The deals on food also seemed quite good particularly for the children - there were several options either for a packed lunch or cooked food and on the day we were there they also were doing a carvery. Service also seemed fairly quick and from the food our friends bought it did look really lovely and we have said that we would like to go back again and try the food next time.

We left about one due to other plans but we thoroughly enjoyed our morning at the valley and I would go there again, but maybe when J is a bit older. The place really did have something for everyone but the only thing I felt was missing was a soft play area. Quite a few cafe's and garden centre's in the area have them but this one didn't so that was a shame but with new businesses opening up all the time this could very well be something that is added on at a later date.

It's the age old question that comes up time and time again - how do you maintain your work/ family and personal life balance when you have a young family? 

I want to spend time with my son and my partner, I want to work, but I also want to have time to myself doing things I want to do without feeling guilty for not being with my family.

Before I 'settled down' I really used to make the most of my freedom, I loved to be able to grab my keys and walk out the door to be blown wherever the wind sent me - in fact a friend and I once booked a holiday 24 hours before it was due to start and that was quite typical of the things we used to do.

I've always been someone with multiple interests and hobbies, I don't know if it's down to my star sign (I'm a gemini) or whether I am just easily bored, but I am always starting new projects and always have several things on the go. I've always been the kind of person who'll give anything a go providing it doesn't put me at risk or is too scary and my interests are almost all the creative and/or expressive kind. I love doing crafts such as crochet or knitting, I colour, I enjoy reading and writing and I also enjoy dancing particularly line dancing which has been my hobby for over 14 years.

Since J's arrival it has been difficult to juggle my job, spend time with J, have adult time with my partner (for cinema, meals etc.) and maintain my interests. Years ago I used to dance 2-3 nights a week minimum, nowadays the most I can manage is once a week. I go through cycles of doing crafts but as J can be quite demanding and destructive (he has unravelled a few projects when I've turned my back on him for a few minutes) I struggle to keep this up and I'm normally too tired once he goes to bed. I haven't picked up a book in ages and making time to write has been just as difficult.

It's the reason why this blog is so infrequently updated, I have a line dance blog as well www.ldfunonthefloor.blogspot.com but I'm usually reporting on what I've danced and uploading videos taken by other people rather than writing truly original content and I struggle to keep that updated too.

I am not short of ideas for this blog or 'fun' either and have lists of topics to write about but it's making the time to actually sit down and write. I prefer to write when J is napping but his naps get shorter and shorter and I have other jobs to do as well. In addition to work, family time and my interest I also have to maintain my relationships with my own friends and family and also do household and garden chores. I recently got around to decorating J's nursery for the first time (we didn't have time before as my partner was very reluctant to give up the room for his office until I was 38 weeks! and then I had my c-section and we weren't financially in the right place).

I probably should write in the evening like I am today, but tiredness saps at my inspiration and motivation. I just want to curl up in front of the tv and do nothing. I have also tried to write and maintain my interests whilst J is with me but he always wants to help. I once let him jump on my lap whilst I finished a blog post for 'fun' that I had started writing whilst he was napping. All I had to do was add a few links, and add labels and the search description when J suddenly grabbed the mouse and manage to close down what I had written and for some reason it had not autosaved - it was all gone. There is nothing worse than wasting time when you have no time to waste.

So where do we go from here?

The answer I'm sure you will all tell me is about good time management, but how do you manage your time around a baby who's napping habits change daily from 30mins nap one day to 2hr 30 mins the next. Who can entertain himself quite happily for 20 mins one day playing with his toys or reading a book but the next day wants Mummy and no one else.

I have been able to keep dancing with the help and support of my partner who gives me one night of freedom to dance a week, plus extra with notice. He helps where he can but he is self-employed and works long and unsociable hours which he himself is also trying to balance against family life with similar challenges. Family can step in occasionally if we want to go on a date night and as for crafting - I can craft if I'm careful and J is sufficiently distracted but this takes more planning. Family options are limited as my family are an hour away and we only have my partner's mother and we don't like to take advantage (she watches J one day a week whilst we are at work).

As for the blogs, I'm not sure of the answer - I enjoy both as it fulfils my need to write so I don't want to stop doing either. In the next few weeks I might play around with writing at various times and days. I've been waking up early so perhaps I might try writing or perhaps get a few more words down in the evening. Maybe the answer is writing multiple posts when I have a bit more time and scheduling them for release in the future.

I'm not sure of the answer so I'm asking you what you do? How do you cope with the balance of work, family and your own interests? Please give me your tips in the comments below.

I've mentioned Ewan briefly before when talking about our bedtime routine, but I thought it was time to give him a post of his own.

We bought him before J was born after he was recommended to us by friends, and whilst he seemed expensive at the time (approx £30) he has been well worth every penny. We use him every night and he goes with us when we stay overnight elsewhere - I really do not know what I would do without him and highly recommend him to other parents.

Below I've compiled a list of reasons why I think Ewan really is every parent's 'dream' sheep. - Let me know your own thoughts in the comments below. (I have no affiliation to Ewan's manufacturer)

1. The most important reason? He helps your baby to sleep. He has 4 different audio settings; lullaby mode, womb sounds, waves & vacuum - the latter 3 are great for getting baby (and sometimes Mum) off to sleep.

2. He is so soft and cuddly - my little one is nearly one and he likes to hug Ewan - it's his little friend.

3. He comes with a velcro hook so you can either pop him in your little one's cot or hang it on the side.

4. He is small, fits in your changing bag - Hey I even put him in my hospital bag, he and J have never been separated.

5. Ewan automatically switches off after approx 20mins so you don't need to go and turn him off once your baby is asleep.

6. He glows red when turned on - helps you to see in the dark and also is a comfort to little one as a night light. (You can also turn this setting off if you want to.)

7. You can choose the audio setting that most suits your situation. I use the lullaby mode to put J down but if he's teething or when he was colicky the white noise modes were great for that.

8. He is a great comforter for your child. J has had Ewan since day one so he's a great comfort when he is not with me (particularly when I returned to work)

9. He is great as part of the bedtime routine - J knows when Ewan is on it's time to go to sleep (works for naps as well as at night, including after feeds)

10. He's not too loud and does have a volume control. J has several musical toys which always seem so loud (particularly if I catch them in the night accidentally) but Ewan is ok and if I go and tuck him in and accidentally turn Ewan on. It doesn't wake him. He's also easy to turn off by holding one of the legs.

11. - OK I know I said 10 reasons but I actually have one more. I find the batteries last a decent amount of time despite multiple uses of Ewan daily, plus they are triple A and easy to change none of those annoying D or C batteries some toys use (who keeps those around the house anyway)

Are you convinced yet? If so you can follow the link below to purchase on amazon.

When Baby J was approximately 7 months old, Cotswold Dad and I went with friends to Centreparcs in Longleat. As our first holiday away I thought I had packed everything but it turns out I had forgotten something - sun cream.

I was actually in the middle of a lake on a pedalo at the time, when I realised my mistake. Out of the shade of the trees and with a clear blue sky above us, the heat of the sun was hotter than I had anticipated and now J was exposed in only shorts, t-shirt, lifejacket and sun hat. For the hour or so we were on the lake I did my best to keep him shaded as much as I could and fortunately he did not burn, but it seems the repercussions were longer lasting.

A few weeks after we got back I noticed that the skin on one of J's legs was slightly dry, and for a few days I just kept an eye on it. Increasingly, the dry skin seemed to spread to both legs and covered his knees & thighs. His legs looked red and when you touched them they went white for a moment and back to red. He wasn't bothered in the slightest but I knew something wasn't right so I went to see one of our local health visitor.

I was assured it was just one of those things that some babies get, I was given some Hydromol cream and as far as I was concerned that was it. I started applying the cream, his skin improved and I thought the problem was solved. Within a few days I noticed the improvement was ceasing and he was still suffering from dry skin on his legs and a few weeks later it was on his arms too. But still he wasn't in pain and was spending a lot of time on the carpet so I assumed that this was the explanation.

When J went for his 9 month check up I saw the other health visitor - who has given me some excellent advice in the past. She noticed the dry skin and was concerned stating that if untreated this could lead to eczema in the future. It was suggested that we got an appointment with the GP.

When I returned home, I immediately went on the internet to see what I could do as we would probably have to wait at least a week or so for an appointment with the GP. I decided first to try some of the lotions we'd been given as gifts at the baby shower, christening etc. I tried the Johnsons baby lotion (pink bottle) and initially like the Hydromol this seemed to help for a few days but within 2 weeks wasn't doing anything at all.

I'd heard about Aveeno Lotion through some of the online forums I silently frequent and one day, whilst shopping in Tesco's on my lunch hour, I noticed they had it on special offer for approx £3 so I bought some. Since trying this and applying it twice a day there was definitely a major improvement but for me the real breakthrough came after reading an article in the Daily Mirror.

My Mum was aware of our struggles with the dry skin and one day there was an article in the Daily Mail about skin issues (primarily Eczema) in children. As well as recommending the Aveeno Lotion it suggested a possible cause that I had never considered, J's bedtime routine. In a previous post, I have detailed our successful bath bottle bed routine which we do nightly, but the article suggested the daily bath was the reason for the dry skin.

We've been using the Johnson's top to toe bath more or less since day one so I do not feel that this is responsible (but saying that as soon as we run out of our current bottle we will switch to the Aveeno bath oil), however I thought I would change the routine so that J has baths every other day instead and since we started this a few weeks ago, I have already seen a significant improvement in his skin.

This is an ongoing fight and whilst we are in control we have not yet won. We will be shortly changing his bath lotion and I am hoping this will help further alleviate the issue. Fortunately, J isn't bothered by the dry skin, but he isn't keen on having the cold lotion on his legs first thing in the morning or after a nice warm bath and who can blame him.

I'll keep you up to date as to how we get on, but in the meantime if anyone has any suggestions from their own experiences, please comment below.

(I have no affiliation with any of the companies named here)

My attempts at baby proofing my house seems to have failed.

J crawls wherever he wants and no baby gate, closed door or baby proofing fixture will stop him.

His favourite thing at the moment is tipping the dog's water bowl upside down sending water all over our conservatory floor and then splashing in the spilt water.

He's also learnt to open cupboard doors.

I also realised the other day that our radiator was not as secure on the wall as I thought it was when J pulled it off leaving it suspended by only the pipes.

I don't remember anyone warning me about any of this before I got pregnant.

Perhaps they should have handed out a flyer like the one I've made below when I attended the antenatal classes.

What's the worst your little ones have managed to do?

I can't believe it.

Baby J is now 10 months old.

He weighs 22lbs

Wears 12-18mth size clothes

He can crawl

Sit up on his own

Pulls himself to standing

Coasts around the furniture

Can shake his head

Can clap his hands

He eats solid food

Is on Aptamil 2

Wakes up no more than once or twice a night (if that)

Its fantastic and I'm so proud of him!

I can't wait to see what he will do next.

I am sorry.

It has been a while since I last posted.

Things have been a little hectic here for the last week.

We have decided to have J christened (or rather I decided and talked Cotswold Dad into it as well!)
I wanted him to be christened as both of us have been christened, and whilst we are not very religious I do love the tradition of having a christening with godparents etc, as well.

Or as Cotswold Dad put it - it's an excuse to have a party!

The christening isn't until after Easter but this week we have been 'getting the ball rolling' and I have been booking the church and reception venue and also designing invitations ready to go out. Now, before I had J this would probably have taken me no more than a day or two but he is going through a 'demanding' phase where he does not like to be put down and once he is crying likes to be on my shoulder whilst I pace through the house (I'm not allowed to sit and comfort him - rock, bounce, jig etc. - that's not good enough for him any more apparently).

I think it's due to a growth spurt as he just turned 12 weeks old this week - he's also been devouring his bottles and even woke up once in the night during this week demanding more. Of course, the minute he is calm enough to entertain himself or nap I catch up on my daily round of chores - washing, dishes, cleaning and then christening organisation duties. Blogging has been a low priority -Perhaps I can skip dishes and blog instead in future?

Cotswold Dad is great and he helps me when he's not working - he is my chef, my water sterilising champion, designated hooverer, washer up and handy man - he usually does the first bottle and nappy change so I can sleep in too!

Even better I am currently decluttering the junk that has accumulated from where we moved in together 1 year ago, merging households without having much of a sort out. It's a big project but I have put a load of duplicate dvd's and unwanted console games on ebay. I also unboxed all our dvd's which were taking over our lives, chucked the boxes in the attic and the discs in a dvd wallet. ( I can't bear to chuck them out and one day when we move, I hope to have a bigger living room where I can smartly display or hide our huge dvd collection)

I also craft but could not get to most of my equipment so I bought a shelf which Cotswold Dad and I installed in our bedroom just below the ceiling to keep my stuff on (and keep out of J's way once he starts toddling). I'm planning a trip to IKEA this week to get some storage boxes to put my collection of wool in and I also want to get some undershelf storage baskets too so I can use the space underneath as well for my writing note books.

I still have a long way to go with decluttering, with clothes to sort, shoes to find a home for, kitchen re-organisation amongst other things but I'm just doing a little bit at a time for now.

On a final note, J laughed properly for the first time yesterday. It was just a little giggle - a delightful squeal whilst I was dressing him on his changing mat. Cotswold Dad heard it too through our baby monitor so I had a witness as well and it was the most wonderful sound in the world.

He'll be 13 weeks tomorrow! I can't believe how quickly time has flown and how big he is now - he is being weighed Tuesday so I'll be interested to see how big he is now!

If anyone has any decluttering tips - I am in need of motivation and inspiration so please comment below and feel free to link to your own blogs, websites etc.

Bye for now.

On Sunday we went to lunch with Cotswold Dad's family. They had a guest, a friend of Cotswold Dad's grandmother whom I have met only once before last year when I was pregnant with J.

Baby J started getting upset before lunch and I mentioned to Cotswold Dad that he was probably hungry as he was due a bottle. The family friend upon hearing this, asked a loaded question in a slightly patronising tone, variations of which I have been asked by many people.

'Are you feeding him yourself?'

Ok, I think to myself, I have several ways of responding to this:

A) No, at 11 weeks old we feel he is old enough to feed himself  (although he can't hold his own head up), we just leave a bottle somewhere he can reach it so he can help himself when he is hungry (We have also modified a rabbit feeder to attach to his cot at night for similar purposes.)

B.) No, when he's hungry we put him in the front garden with a bottle and sign saying 'feed me' in hope that someone passing by might take pity on him.

C.) We're supposed to feed him? Who knew!

D.) I bottle feed him due to various problems encountered when breastfeeding (see previous posts Part1 & Part2)

A deep breath later, I went for option D and launched into my full story - J's feeding issues, weight loss, hospital stay - the works. I was justifying my choices to someone I barely know, and its not a one off. I have been asked this question by family, friends, family friends and even total strangers working on checkouts or who stop me in the supermarket.

Firstly, why did I feel the need to justify my choices to people? My biggest enemy is that one phrase 'Breast is best'. It's been stuck in my head certainly from early pregnancy if not earlier. It is an expectation that all mothers will feed their own baby and this message is everywhere when you are pregnant. It comes from the midwives, doctors, and the media, and is reinforced by tv shows, your peers - the message is everywhere. 

At our second ante-natal (parentcraft) class, I had a whole session on breastfeeding. I was given leaflets, was lectured by the midwife that it was the best thing, we watched a dvd on breastfeeding, they even brought in 2 mums with baby's who were 4-5 months old who were breastfed to explain their experiences - the issues they had and their tips on holds etc. We were then sent away with lanolin samples (have to say that stuff is fantastic though) and a further NHS dvd on breastfeeding. I felt both institutional and peer pressure to breastfeed and did not explore any other options. After all breast feeding is 'natural' and 'Breast is best.'

Of course things didn't go to plan as you will have seen in my previous post.

Then I had to consider formula feeding J and at first I felt like I was failing him, after all 'breast is best' and it is supposed to be better for him due to antibodies in the milk etc. I felt that if I gave him formula I would not be giving him the best chance and that I'd be letting him down and I was reluctant and initially refused point blank. 

When people ask about feeding, this all comes back to me. I worry that they will think badly of me - that I'm too lazy etc. for breast feeding or that they will look down on me. After all with the older generations - they managed so why can't I? Usually when I explain to people why I formula feed J, they understand completely and are sympathetic - I think this I why I end up justifying myself to people every time I'm asked.

Secondly, why do people ask me this question in the first place? What business is it of their's how I feed my baby? Why do they think it is acceptable to ask this?

I think this is a highly personal and private decision for myself and my partner to make. If I wanted advice from others I would ask for it and whilst I am happy to confide in close family and close friends I find it slightly intrusive when anyone else asks but at the same time I don't want to be offensive or rude to people who genuinely (most of the time) mean no harm. So I grit my teeth, put on my shiniest smile and go into extensive detail into my life decisions.

People are judgemental what ever you say or do, you have to make the decision that is right for you and as long as your happy with that, what other people say, think and do should not matter. The problem is we're human, so it does...

We've now had 3 nights of uninterrupted sleep! Yay!

The only downside? I'm now paranoid as to whether J's ok or not! I'm still in the habit of waking up at the times he previously fed overnight and as he's so quiet (his monitor only picks up noises if he is snuffly or wriggling) I always end up checking on him to find that he is 'sleeping like a baby' and I feel slightly foolish (not to mention cold!) for having got up and checked on him.

Is it just me or is this common?

On the upside, during the day J is much more alert, more laid back and generally much happier, spending more time gurgling away or playing with his toys on his playmat or bouncer. That also means more smiles and there is nothing I love more than to see his smiley face. Its the best sight in the world to me.

Any parent looks forward to the first time their child will smile and we were no different. Initially we had the windy 'smiles' where it was very much a case of is it or isn't it a proper smile? - J was holding out on us, and then over christmas when he was about 6 weeks, we had the first proper smiles - the best present of all -but they were fleeting and hard to catch.

Now of course he's smiling much more and we can actually get it on camera, its also great fun pulling faces at him trying to get him to smile. Talking to him and repeating back his noises is another way we do this and I also blow raspberries which he absolutely loves.

Now we're waiting for the next development milestone - his first laugh. Again we've had moments where noises he's made could be a laugh - but then its also possible that they weren't. Hopefully it won't be long.

Here's one of J's smiles to brighten up your day :-)